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Greetings from the inventor of Jeffgoldblumle! Four years ago, I invented Jeffgoldblumle. Since then, it has completely changed my life along with the lives of millions of other people. It has not changed the life of Jeff Goldblum (yet). Recently, I invented a new game. However, this game has been deemed by several world government agencies including the WHO, the UN, and AARP, to be too DANGEROUS for public consumption. Luckily, these agencies have absolutely no enforcement mechanisms (yet). Therefore, despite their warnings, I am releasing it anyway. Once you enter, there is no telling what damage or havoc the game may unleash. Proceed with caution!